Doubt

Letting Myself See God Again

Mountains stretched to the horizon, mountain after mountain: most of them blue-green with evergreens, a few tall enough to be topped with rocks and snow. The closest had a peak covered by a meadow bright with flowers: gold, scarlet, and…

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Changed by Mystery

One painting grounds my spirit every time I see it. I have bookmarked the image on all my devices. I have written about it, researched it, and given lectures about it, but I have yet to put my finger on…

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Getting Used to Good News

Sometimes, I’m not sure I’m happy enough for Easter. When it comes around each year, I sing the alleluia’s that we have stopped saying during Lent, and I clap a lot and say, “He is risen indeed,” when I am…

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After the X

A Crucifixion Poem, for Good Friday   Some small thing, a thread of sweat on a forehead, hidden by cursive ashen hair—these we know. An X there, over and over our brow as water runs and his neck drops And she…

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Empty Places

We skip Sunday school and head south, seeking somewhere to explore, and after bellies full of flapjacks, we find it at Indian Echo Caverns. This limestone cave, hidden along the Swatara creek, is a geological wonder, a gem of a…

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As If

I grew up in an evangelical, white, middle-class home. We loved Jesus, went to church each Sunday, and studied the Bible. We were Baptist, so we didn’t follow much of a liturgical calendar—in fact, any liturgy was treated with suspicion….

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How Do I Make Space to Process My Faith? Dear Addie #15

Dear Addie, I have found comfort in your writing lately, as another angsty soul undergoing a spiritual reckoning of sorts. Like many “Dear Addie” readers, I find myself unsure of how to move forward. I grew up evangelical in the…

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Wearing God: God as Grandmother

It is hard for us to face a god who disappointed our childhood expectations. -Rabbi Wenig   My grandma died three years ago this week. She was not a cuddly, storybook sort of grandmother. She did not keep cookies in…

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Interview with Carol Howard Merritt, Author of Healing Spiritual Wounds

It took me about three minutes after receiving Carol Howard Merritt’s new book Healing Spiritual Wounds: Reconnecting with a Loving God After Experiencing a Hurtful Church to realize it was a book for me. It took me seconds longer to…

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The Skeptic’s Guide to Spiritual Practices: Spiritual Direction

Mary’s house is clean. She has no laundry piles on the couch, the floor is free of Legos, and a white pillar candle is always burning on the coffee table when I creak open the front door. It’s a peaceful…

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