Ask Addie

Got a question? Once a month, Addie Zierman authors an advice-ish column here in the tradition of Cheryl Strayed’s “Dear Sugar.”

Addie brings radical empathy to questions about life, love, about God and church, about your spiritual baggage and daily struggles. You can sign your name, or you can write anonymously. If chosen, your letter will be published on Off the Page, followed by Addie’s response.

When You No Longer Feel God | Dear Addie #19

Dear Addie,   I am an ordained pastor, 62 years old.  I grew up in a loving, though nominally Christian, family.  I had little interest in matters of faith until my last year of high school when I joined the youth group…

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Why are People of Faith so Close-Minded? | Dear Addie #18

Dear Addie,   Several years ago, our family moved from one region of the United States to another. We were excited to see what life would be like in the new region. As we made friends and joined a church…

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How Do I Serve the “Least of These”? | Dear Addie #16

Dear Addie, Sometimes I feel so stuck on how to serve. I grew up in the church, but there wasn’t a strong emphasis on serving the “least of these” in our community so I never really had the experience of…

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How Do I Make Space to Process My Faith? Dear Addie #15

Dear Addie, I have found comfort in your writing lately, as another angsty soul undergoing a spiritual reckoning of sorts. Like many “Dear Addie” readers, I find myself unsure of how to move forward. I grew up evangelical in the…

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Navigating Your Faith Journey when your Spouse is in a Different Place | Dear Addie #14

Dear Addie,   My husband and I are in increasingly different places with our individual faith journeys. We were married 23 years ago. I was a faithful church leader and worker. Our church, however, sort of went off the rails….

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Is Wrestling Through My Faith Baggage Worth It? | Dear Addie #13

Dear Addie,   I’m from a family of conflict avoiders. When relationship rupture occurs, we avoid each other until we can’t anymore and then pretend nothing happened. It’s felt like this has been the only way to be in relationship…

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Some Advice for Christmas from Ask Addie

First of all, give yourself permission to not be merry or bright. Excuse yourself from the manufactured pressures of Christmas cheer.   The holiday season comes sharp and brittle for some. Maybe even for you. Be gentle with others. Be…

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Finding Post-Election Commonality During the Holidays | Dear Addie #12

Hi Addie:  I found your site when I googled “how to talk to Evangelicals.” (No kidding). Then I read one of your posts about witnessing and I really liked it.  I’m a progressive Jew from a small town in the…

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How Do I Engage Honestly with Respect to Other’s Spiritual Journey? | Dear Addie #11

Dear Addie, My husband and I recently moved back to his hometown after a few years away and started going to a new church. Everything I believe about God has changed so much in the last few years, largely because…

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How Can I Help My Boyfriend Understand Depression is Real? | Dear Addie #10

In your very well-written book, I found a lot of the description of your struggles with loneliness and depression very easy for me to relate to, as someone who still struggles with both. Also, your book inspired me to find…

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